Well it’s been a while…
I have officially been absent without a real excuse except to say… I just did not know what to write, my words have failed me for a little while now.
For the last couple of years, I have just been keeping my head down working, and obviously doing as much sailing and coaching as I could… My social media has of course been as active as I could make it, but sitting down to actually put pen to paper for me has been a real challenge; I think the feeling of just not knowing what to say, not really knowing in my own heart where I was headed has been the most difficult part of it.
I guess if you’ve been following me on social media, you will have seen that I left my relatively safe and comfortable job at Fieri.
Fieri for me was an amazing place to work; it was what I needed at a time when I didn’t really know what it was that I needed. The trouble was, I got too comfortable there, and in reality it was allowing me to not really challenge myself because lets be honest, logistics has been something historically that I am pretty skilled at; so therefore running the behind the scenes operations and equipment side of Fieri has not really been as challenging as perhaps I needed.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been many great adventures at Fieri, many great learning and coaching points, many personal victories, but most importantly many great friendships that I have found there- and leaving was perhaps one of the hardest decisions to make.
Now currently I’m sitting here in St Vincent watching a tropical storm out of my window whilst I write this, and I’m really really wondering how earth did I get here to this point?
Well I guess the answer is simple… World Sailing were looking for the new Para Manager, and I guess the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
I’m not gonna lie, I knew the job was there at World Sailing, after all I’ve been on the Para Committee for a few years now, but I like many others read the job description, and personally, I didn’t even think I should apply.
Once I had read the job description however, it made me really look at my skill set, and at the time I didn’t feel like I was ready to take on the role as big as it is. Now I realise I couldn’t have been more wrong… Not only can I do this job, but it has given me the opportunity to grow and to challenge myself, and hence the reason why I’m sitting here in the Caribbean about to run an all women’s technical coaching course. If you had told me a year ago, or even a few weeks ago that I would be here I wouldn’t have believed you.
I think when you go through a really tough time it’s super easy to stay in your comfort zone and that for me was Fieri.
I realise now that it wasn’t the place to stay, and I don’t mean that in a bad way at all; Fieri gave me a place where it was safe to take what I needed, to rest, to recharge, and to excel in a role where I was comfortable.
Now, I’m taking back my power… The aim is still the same, I ultimately do want to race in the Vendée Globe, I do want to race offshore, are I do still want to go sailing-bottom line.
For right now though, I get to pair one of my biggest passions that is coaching, my biggest ambition – to see sailing reinstated in the Paralympics, and ultimately I get to make a difference in a sport that I truly love.
So I’m here on this beautiful island running the course for the next week… I’ll update you on how it goes, but for now thank you for sticking with me, thank you for your patience as I figured out my path, my purpose, and what really makes my heart tick; and that of course will always be sailing.
I guess uncle Jamie was right… Never give up!
You never know what opportunities are around the corner, and remember it doesn’t matter how slowly you go, or how windy the road towards the ultimate goal is.
Just keep going…
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